15. My boyfriend dumped me, so I stole his wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

16. I thought I hit rock bottom, but then life handed me a shovel.

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17. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

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18. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

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