118. I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.
119. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then, I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
120. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
121. What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? A football player showers.
122. Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he’s dead.
